What if you could change where life put you in it's pecking order?
I think biomechanics can be a lever that actually does have that power.
This past weekend I had a friend from business school visiting town and we had dinner. I’m not going to use his real name so i’ll instead call him “John”.
John is now in his mid-50’s and he’s had a rough stretch for about the last 20 years.
You see we met during our MBA in 2003 when John was in his early 30’s and I was in my late 20’s.
He was a solid guy who had an engaging way about him and we became pretty good friends. But he had a tough time focusing and so he never did well in school.
To the extent that he was kicked out of the MBA program.
And the ensuing years were not really any nicer to him. It consisted of a string of poor investments, failed startups, a career that never really took off, etc.
And so now in his mid-50’s he’s still struggling a bit. Trying his best to roll with the times, but now with the responsibility of a wife and two young children.
Meanwhile there are folks that we know from our MBA program that are very wealthy. Folks who did not have to struggle like John or I did, especially as this past decade was a roller coaster ride for me due to my health issues.
It was two divergent paths and we were on the losing end.
And in a way you can say that it was predictable to some extent. Because even back in our MBA program all those years ago there was a sort of ‘pecking order’ where you could probably predict who was going to be more successful.
I was struggling with my voice and my health a fair bit even back then. So i’m sure that if people were asked… both John and I would not have been near the top of the list.
And in a lot of cases those predictions about how various people would fare in the future probably came true to a large extent.
But what if you could change that pecking order? Even this late in life?
Wouldn’t that be cool?
I think so.
There is almost always a pecking order
In life, in almost every group there is going to be an unwritten pecking order after some time.
Everyone in their head has probably formed a prediction of who is going to be the most successful, least successful, etc.
And you would probably be surprised on how well those perceptions align between different people.
It is typically based on some mix of how the person looks, their personality, their confidence, their voice, their background, etc.
After you have gotten to know someone for awhile… you often feel like you have a sense for how far they’re likely gonna make it.
They may not actually make it that far, but you develop a feel for where their ‘ceiling’ is likely gonna be. And some people will have a much higher ceiling than others.
This perceived pecking order then determines how others treat you and how interested they are in developing a long-standing relationship with you.
It sounds cold and calculating… but what i’m talking about is just human nature. Especially in an MBA program.
Biomechanics are almost always behind this pecking order
When people are creating these perceptions a lot of what they are using as signals are things that, in my view, are a direction function of biomechanics.
For example, in my own experience, these biomechanics directly impact things like:
how good you look
the confidence you exude
the resonance of your voice
how quick you think
how well you can analyze complex problems
how friendly you seem and how well you connect with people
On all six of these items above… in the past decade I view that I have very clearly improved when my biomechanics were good, and worsened when my biomechanics were worse.
And so that means the signals used to place you in the pecking order can be manipulated with this biomechanical process.
Change the biomechanics, you change your position in the pecking order
The positive message I guess i’m trying to send here is that this pecking order that life tends to place you into is not static.
Or rather it is even far less static than most folks tend to believe.
And i view it as a sort of line graph like the one above.
Some folks will be ahead of you (eg. they had a more successful career, look better, etc).
But if they don’t know about this biomechanical process then in my view you can automatically assume that they are declining at some rate. Because aging = slow biomechanical collapse.
And if you are disciplined about this process then my experience is that your slope will be heading upwards.
Therefore at some point in the future… depending on each of your slopes… you will eventually surpass them. Some people you will pass faster than others.
And that will continue to hold true until knowledge about these biomechanics is democratised and therefore no longer a source of competitive advantage.
I think about this a lot (perhaps because I’m jaded hahaha)
I’ve been thinking about this notion a lot for some years already and it is kind of a source of motivation & comfort.
Because I am very competitive by nature.
And for almost my entire adult life I felt like I was pulling a ball & chain behind me with my health. Particularly since 2014.
And so there are some folks that took a strong lead over me on this pecking order of life some years back already and probably figure they left me in the dust.
But I view that i’m closing the gap now. And i’m coming hard and fast. Such that eventually I will cruise right by them.
Maybe in a year. Maybe in a few years. Maybe it’ll even take longer than that.
But eventually it’ll happen because our trajectories are on opposing slopes. They are aging, thinking slower, probably feeling less and less energy, not handling stress as well, getting less creative, etc.
And i’m clocking up on all of these things for the past five years.
When I do catch up to them, they’re gonna think to themselves.. “Damn where did that mofo come from? I thought i’d dusted his ass.”
But by that point I’ll be looking at them from my rear view.
Closing thoughts
My message to my friend, John, at the end of the weekend was….
“Ok… you’re in your mid-50’s. You’ve had a tough run of life…. but are you gonna accept where life has placed you? Or do you have it in you to fight and claw your way back? Because I’m saying it’s possible.”
With that I gave him four mouthguards.
The tools to potentially change his spot in life’s pecking order. But it was definitely not going to be easy, nor was it going to be quick.
As his body had gone through a lot of damage. Just like the shape my beat-up body was in back in 2021 when I first started this latest 5-year ascent back.
So the rest is up to him now.
Perhaps he’ll follow through on it and years from now he’ll go to our 30-year MBA reunion with our old classmates remarking “Damn John… you did really well for yourself!”
Or perhaps he’ll continue his current trajectory down because it was too ‘hard’ for him.
Whichever it is… at least there is a path now that in my experience… actually works.