I think negotiating is primarily a function of neurology

And neurology is a function of these biomechanics. Therefore you can improve how to negotiate by improving your structure.

Once in awhile I will mix in posts that are based on my observations over the years and less directly health-related.

But rather are secondary effects of this health stuff that I find very interesting.

Because it gives you clues into just how far this stuff might go.

Things that impact cognitive function and neurology impact careers. It impacts who makes it further than others. It impacts who becomes our leaders.

And it flies in the face of lots of stuff that is commonly understood and written in books on negotiation, management and leadership.

Today i’m going to talk about how I believe this stuff impacts a person’s ability to negotiate.

I’ve noticed that each time I get healthier, I negotiate better

Having cycled through periods of structural health and decline over the past decade, I’ve seen clear patterns in my negotiating ability.

When my structural health is good, my negotiating skills naturally improve without conscious effort. I project more confidence, maintain composure under pressure, and stay positive even when discussions get heated.

When I wasn’t healthy I’d lose my temper faster or get more emotional. And this would often contaminate a tense negotiation with a negative vibe that wasn’t good for anyone.

I can even tell with my casual negotiations with my wife at home that i naturally fare better these days.

For example three years ago:

Me: “How come I always have to carry all the bags when we go shopping?”

Wife: “Because you’re the man!”

Me: “But i’m American. I’m not from Ukraine like you. We split these duties.”

Wife: “I don’t care. You married me so you need to respect my culture.”

But now…. I fare a bit better. And instead of carrying all the bags I often get her to grudgingly carry at least one of them. hahahaha

When someone is neurologically impaired they often don’t negotiate well

I pick up on a person that is a bit neurologically damaged pretty quickly.

They’re often less adept at reading others. A bit more to themselves.

And if you don’t read others well… that is going to hinder you in negotiating.

They will also often be more fickle and give away things easier.

You often just kind of ‘feel’ that you can push them around a bit more and get away with it.

Are there exceptions? Yes, but I find that this generally holds true.

Particularly from my own experience. I just knew I was very bad at negotiating when I was not doing well and would try to outsource it to my wife or someone else.

But I also notice when someone is neurologically superior to me

Just as I recognize neurological impairment, I can spot when someone has superior neurological function.

In these situations, I naturally adjust my expectations downward.

It's not a conscious decision - I simply find myself accepting that I'm likely to get less favorable terms. This recognition of neurological hierarchy seems to operate at an almost instinctual level.

You are probably doing it too all the time and just don’t know it.

For example if you were to meet a young Oprah Winfrey. You would likely quickly feel that this is a strong woman and you’re going to adjust your expectations in a negotiation with her downwards without even thinking about it.

My recent licensing negotiation example

The other day I was negotiating on behalf of a client for Hubspot license renewals for their team and I was talking with the account manager that they designated to us for this.

She had great structure and confidence, a crisp voice, and could switch from being charming to being stern quickly and easily.

I didn’t get anywhere in trying to negotiate her down. She stayed cool and just deflected each of my arguments easily.

But she did so while smiling and being professional and logical. I knew she outclassed me within the first few minutes. So I gave up and ended the call without having gotten any price concessions.

It was not a battle of intelligence. It was a battle of neurology.

But after the call I consoled myself with the thought… “You may have bested me now… but gimme a few more months to finish this biomechanical process and I’ll get lower prices out of you yet!” lol

I've concluded that neurology is key to negotiating well

While negotiation certainly involves hard skills like understanding terms, market knowledge, and strategy, the soft skills often determine success.

Confidence, patience, conflict resolution, persuasion, and emotional intelligence all play crucial roles.

What I've realized is that these soft skills are fundamentally rooted in neurological function. Your nervous system's health determines how effectively you can deploy these skills under pressure.

Closing thoughts

The implications of this connection between neurology and negotiation ability are really interesting to me.

Life is essentially a series of constant negotiations - with family, colleagues, clients, and even ourselves.

And if I’m right and neurological function is indeed at the foundation of negotiation ability, then this potentially has far reaching consequences.

The ability to enhance your negotiating ability through these biomechanics could have massive implications for career success, relationship dynamics, and overall life outcomes.

I’ve already seen these changes in my own life both on the downswing and the upswing these past 10 years…. but one day I think it will almost become common knowledge.

And instead of reading negotiation books to improve our skills… we’ll all be wearing a mouthguard and doing jaw stretches. Hahahaha