A little while back I was chatting with a friend that I know for a little over a decade.
He’s probably about 10 yrs younger than me and has been playing it safe with a corporate job that has been stable for about the last 9 years.
However he’s a bit frustrated as he’s been passed over for promotion multiple times and the company always has him reporting to people that seem more ‘senior’ to him.
And so every few months for years he calls and asks me my advice.
I always tell him to try and get something to work on the side, but that he probably shouldn’t leave his stable job. Because quite honestly his biomechanics are mediocre at best.
Plus I tell him to wear a flat mouthguard and do this biomechanical process. Something that he hasn’t taken serious till just recently.
Today I want to break down this situation because I think it’s a relatively common one that a lot of folks out there might be thinking about.
First, why was he stuck?
I first met this friend in 2014 when I was going through some of my worst health struggles.
He was one of the few people that seemed empathetic and interested to get to know me as a person. Despite the fact that I probably came off as a loser to most folks (because I couldn’t concentrate, felt like a hermit, etc).
He would visit Vietnam (where I lived at the time) and we’d often catch up. He had a smile and a warm spirit that always cheered me up.
Then as the years went on we stayed in touch and we both changed to different companies. He joined a company that took him to a different region.
At first he was really happy and seemed to be performing very well. There seemed to be a dearth of experienced people in the company and so he had a wide remit.
But some years later as the company scaled they brought in more experienced and ‘polished’ people and my friend just kind of stayed where he was for years.
He was a very hard worker who was very good at getting lots of difficult projects completed so why were they passing over him?
In my view (from what I understood from my friend) it was a classic case of biomechanics. The people they were putting above him seemed more confident, were better communicators, and just seemed to gravitate to being a ‘boss’ better.
And despite years of my friend trying to develop these “boss-like” qualities he just didn’t seem to be able to. In part because his voice didn’t have the commanding resonance that got people to focus and listen to what he was saying.
I knew his situation all too well as i’d felt the same thing numerous times during my health roller coaster ride from 2014 - 2021.
He thought running his own company would be the answer
My friend’s solution to the predicament he was in was to consider leaving his job and starting something of his own.
In years past he was always interviewing for various jobs around the world and asking me my view on them. But this past year the focus seems to be more on creating his own company.
In part because the employment situation in tech has gotten a lot worse. And in part because I guess he feels like he’s never gonna be good at the whole ‘corporate ladder’ thing.
So theoretically running your own successful company is the perfect solution.
No corporate ladder to deal with.
You get to do things the way you want to do them.
etc.
But is it really the right answer?
A risky move is not a good move with bad biomechanics
I told him straight up that I think starting a business is a great idea, but not in the condition he is in.
I could just tell from our conversations that he did not have the energy nor the mental game to make it in the entrepreneur game at the moment.
Because it’s hard as hell.
I started numerous companies before Reviv and they almost all either failed or didn’t scale.
And while Reviv is doing well… it is a daily grind that is very tough.
I think I would have had no chance being successful at doing what I’m doing now at any earlier point in my adult life. Because it’s a ton of work and it is very stressful.
I think I average about two high stress events per day. These events can take many forms, eg. screwup in operations, burnt too much money on something and so I have a cashflow issue, dealing with a stressful customer, etc.
Ten years ago just a single high stress event would have probably rendered me inefficient for hours due to the stress it creates. Now that stress just bounces off me like a ball because my neurological system is so much stronger.
My learning is that to do this entrepreneur game and make it… you need a neurological system like teflon.
Because you’re constantly getting punched in the face and then getting back up.
And I just don’t think this friend of mine has the structure to handle it yet.
Fix the biomechanics, then increase your risk
Am I saying he is screwed for life and he should relegate himself to a life of answering to others?
Also no.
I absolutely think his true happiness will be found running his own company. But first he needs to fix his biomechanics.
That means wearing a mouthguard regularly, stretching, and playing this biomechanical game for the long-term.
It will probably take a few years of hard work before he is ready to start his own company and have a decent shot of it.
But regardless of that it will probably be worth it anyway. Because he’ll be getting healthier and stronger.
And that will also make him more successful in his current job.
So perhaps in the end his improvement in biomechanics will result in the promotion he wanted and he won’t want to start a company anyway.
Either way… the order needs to be:
step 1: Fix the biomechanics
step 2: Increase your risk profile when you are much healthier
I am a good example of this
My past five years is a very good example of what I am saying above.
I figured out the rules to these biomechanics in late 2021 when i was still in very bad shape.
So all throughout 2021-2024 I was just improving my health and playing it relatively low key career-wise. Meaning I was doing various contracting jobs and running my own little side hustles on the side (none of which became successful).
It wasn’t until late 2024, after a full three years of recovering, that I took the leap to start Reviv. And quite honestly i never expected it to be more than a side hustle.
This whole thing started with this Substack and then purchasing a couple hundred mouthguards to see if I could sell them using my writing.
When that worked I started thinking about the business more seriously and also understood that I now had the health to go hard at it.
Since then i’ve probably averaged around 70 hours of work per week (~12 hrs per weekday, ~5 hrs per weekend) and haven’t taken a day off in two whole years (because almost everything in the company depends on me).
But my point here is not to toot my own horn. My point is… there was no way i could have held that pace even in my 20s and 30s. I am simply a machine now compared to the feeble Ken that i used to be.
I get punched in the face almost daily. And have plenty of energy to pick myself back up, brush myself off, and just keep truckin’ forward.
While knowing that whatever happens… i’m barely going to think about it afterwards because my head just clears stress very efficiently.
Your playbook for gettin’ back in the game
Here’s where I relate this back to you because I’m trying to convey what I consider to be an important point with all of this.
Many of you are probably in a state of recovery right now.
And perhaps reflecting on to what extent biomechanics impacted you negatively throughout your life. How much more could you have done if you knew this stuff earlier?
You’re probably eager to ‘get back in the game’ and prove what a healthy you can do.
And you will.
But you need to be patient.
This process will take years for some of you.
Let yourself heal for awhile. Gain an understanding of where you are in your healing journey and don’t take on too much too fast.
Ease into things that are more stressful and only take your life up a gear when you are ready.
At least that is my take based on my experience.
But one day… when you are good and ready… show them all what the hell you can do.
And have a glance in your rear view mirror from time-to-time…
…at all the people that didn’t believe in you.
As you whisper to yourself… “hasta la vista baby.”